The Second Love

'Mera pehla pyaar adhura reh gaya iffat bi mera pehla pyaar adhura reh gaya', this dialogue has been stuck in my head since I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai for the first time when I was 9. Every time i have watched this scene I have cried along-with Anjali. I'm sure you did too. No doubt it is one of my all time favourite movies, but now that I think of it; it doesn't make sense.

I have always seen people dejected and sobbing about their first love.

So today lets talk about second love cause 'first love' is "OVERHYPED"

First love is magical and enchanting. There is a lot of excitement about everything that surrounds your first relationship. You are young, wild, carefree and oh yes, you also have time in your hand. You're thrilled about every little thing; be it the first movie.. the first time you held hands... the first kiss.. the first outing... You have a list of all the firsts that happened.. Of course there are also the first fights, the tears, the anger as well...

There are continuous butterflies in your stomach. You start making efforts to look good, grooming yourself. You wish to spend maximum time with them; while doing this knowingly or unknowingly you grow apart from your friends. You'll start giving up things you like for the other person. Like you would start liking what they like when it comes to hanging out, calling for food or even watching a movie or a show... The adrenaline, the rush feels good due to the novelty factor involved in the first relationship. You also start believing in FOREVER.

But 99% of the times the first relationship doesn't work. Be it difference in wavelength, moving across cities/country, cheating or just growing apart all of a sudden...

The first time you feel love, you are not in love but you are in love with the 'Idea of Love.'

All you're left with is a broken heart, sadness, and dejection.

Then comes the second love. It picks up the broken pieces of your heart, puts them back together and holds them tight with love.

They'll teach you to love again and they will love you even with your broken pieces. 

This makes you feel hopeful.. It makes you realise that there's still light at the end of a dark tunnel... You deserve better and this is it.

Second love is like a whiff of fresh air after feeling claustrophobic for a long time. 

The second love is more realistic. It is not a Disney fairytale. It's not all about unicorns farting rainbows... It's not blind, impulsive, not based on obsessions. Once you've been through a heartbreak you're more mature and decide on the basis of facts and not cause you just want "someone" in your life. Your expectations from the other person also becomes realistic... 

This time you do take care of the other person's feelings but you're more practical. You love them with all your heart but you love yourself too. You're comfortable in your skin. You don't feel the urge to always look beautiful. Your don't ditch the important people in your life. You spend time with them. It may not always be about decking up and going out, you can lie at home the whole day not doing anything but still feel good about it. You are not in a constant state of seeking validation from the other person. You feel more like you.

No matter how many times your first love tells you they'll never leave you. They always do. Unlike your first relationship, you'll not feel insecure. In your second love, there maybe fights, arguments but you always know this is just temporary. You feel secure, you know this time they'll not let you go. They might not express it verbally but you can see it in their actions.

You start feeling things you thought you'd never feel. This time you'll not have to guess, you'll know. 

Like I said you finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. This time the light walks with you; maybe "not forever" but till "death does you apart."